Vote or Die

Not sure this policy direction will work, but this SouthPark creation is very good.
Lord
PS Doc, hear you disgraced yourself on the weekend with a C grade (what the f#ck?!?) victory. That is about as worthy as Dubya proclaiming the liberation and a new era of democracy for Iraq following the invasion (60,000 dead Iraqis later and still not much of either on the horizon...) Shame.

Ashes Taster

Dear comrades
Stumbled across this on the ABC site - really worth listening too. The audio from Steve Waugh's ton at the SCG brought a tear to my eye!
Looking forward to seeing you BrisVegas folk in a few weeks for the 1st Test.
F

Microsoft Office

From the creators of the Office - if you get a chance have a look, its a great laugh. Apparently Microsoft has started an investigation after videos, which were for internal training only, have been leaked. They have already been ripped from YouTube, so better be quick before they disappear for good.

Lord

It's a boy!

Great news from the Craw yesterday with the arrival of young Benjamin. I will let him fill in the details coming days and weeks. Congrats from all PDCers, Craw and Janelle. If the Chief is anything to go by Craw's months of crap golf will soon become a distant memory replaced by an inner peace and golfing nirvana. Or he could have heaps of sleepless nights and be up to his ears in baby shit and spew and never play golf again... Either way, the 2007 PDC will be one worth watching.
Well done.
Lord
PS. Shirls has provided some outstanding photos of Tiger's missus, although word elsewhere on the web is that there is some dispute about whether the said naked baby is in fact the real deal. Probably a bit blue for the blog and email feed, but if you want a look, let me know and I will forward.
And a belated thanks for Craw, Bellringer and PJ for the tonk last weekend in Vegas. Pity Craw and got flogged, but a great morning. Hope to be up in town again in October.

Craw's legacy

Noticed in the members section of the IGC website a pic of the proposed changes to the course. Am sure that the changes to 5 Gold, moving the green to the left to bring the hazard into play, were suggested to the Committee and designers by none other than the Craw. Is this correct, sport? Good to know your years of toil on the Committee made a difference. Of course, you will be cursed loudly everytime a PDCer doesnt par the hole, but that's better than being forgotten.
Lord

Different venue, same gags

Dear comrades
Just a short note to let you know my new golf career has commenced with a mighty victory against some of the local lads at the Grange. Played in the last group on Saturday 1.13 - finished in the dark. First tee introductions were brief and concluded with 'right, well we normally play skins, 50c each first 6, $1 next 6, then $2 for the rest, sandies, ferretts, ntp on all par 3s, 2 long drive holes and $5 for man of the match. You in or not?' 'Agh, well, ahem, sure, yes, oh yes, we do something similar at the 'pilly...' all the while wondering how much cash i had in my wallet. I have no idea how all the calculations worked but was looking a distant last place until a long drive win on 15 followed by a $40 5-footer on 16. You beauty! Was interested in the universality of golfers comments at young ladies who drive the drinks cart around the course. In addition to the usual 'When are the committee going to make topless drinks girls compulsory? to 'Jeez, the hole location looks promising over there' as she neared to 'Do you have anything hot for sale in the front there, luv?'. Just like being at the 'pilly really.

Congratulations Chief, great news on the plate and baby. Bad luck Bellringer.

BTW, i am in Vegas from next Thursay, 17th i think, flying back to SA on the Sunday morning. Let me know if anyone keen for a tonk on Friday arvo or maybe Saturday in the comp. Dont have wheels. Will also be shifting from ozemail to bigpond, hopefully on Friday - cant get broadband at the new address due to some Telstra quirk - will keep you posted on new email address
Lord

The hills are alive.... Not!

Great news from rust belt of Australia. While you boys will no doubt be sucking back a few beers enjoying the ra ra on Saturday evening, perhaps around a barbie, I will be enjoying the adventures of that crazy von Tripp family as they rollick through the Swiss Alps... And then at 12.05 am, Sunday morning, the biggest rugby game of the year will be televised in Adelaide. Go figure!?!
Good luck to the awesome PDC threesome tomorrow. Dont even want to starting thinking which of you will get spit-roasted!
Lord

Adelaide cyber cafe

Dear comrades
Greetings from the deep south. I am in an internet cafe surrounded by young men swearing hard at computers while they attempt to shoot everything that moves on said screen. I have stumbled across an odd sub culture...
Well, we have made it! The house is full of boxes and looks a complete mess, but by and large we are in and operating. Dont have a phone yet (2 weeks away) nor internet (another week) but loads of family support and help. Which is just as well because I dont have a f*ckin' clue about anything else in this dang town! For instance, the sun sets over the sea! Go figure!?
The shift has felt a lot harder than i expected. I really miss the BrisVegas surroundings esp friends. Great to see you all at the party a couple of weeks ago.
But enough sooking about a past life, down to business. Where the hell are the PDC scores?? Did anyone play? A report of some kind would be greatly appreciated.
Hugs for now
Lord

PS. RIP Akermanis, J. You were great, pal, just wish you could engage your brain before your mouth.
PSS. Schnap, sorry i didnt reply to your email before i left. Nice words.

Choke or no choke?

What can we make of Mickelson's and Monty's brain explosions yesterday? There is some reasonable footage on the US Open site, inc video wraps from each day. I get the feeling the yanks thought that big Phil just had to turn up to claim three in a row, or a 'Micklepeat', as they termed it. Wankers! A great result for the oz underdog. Not sure if anyone would have noticed had socceroos knocked off Brazil. BTW, anyone know when the PDC is?
Lord

Bigger than Ben Hur?

3-1 to Socceroos v Japan. Superb! Being such an old man, I was in bed by 9.00 with no chance of watching the match live. Have been desperate to find some footage - the TV is in a backroom (so the kids dont destroy it) without an aerial - I have finally found video on the World Cup site.
All that is missing is Les Murray going bananas and shedding a tear for Johnny Warren, again.
Hooroo for now
Lord

PS Adam Scott, another late 9 stumble. Not in the right headspace for a US Open.
Gregan? Drop him now, or continue to World Cup?

Eve of the 40th

Proving yet agin that age is no barrier, chief hit every fairway and most greens to walk off the 18th of the east with his pride intact after partnering the Docta to a memorable half against the Bellringer and Shirls. Whilst their opposition may argue that they were robbed, Chief and doc reckon that Bellringer and Shirls got off lightly and if it wasn"t for a missed put for par on 15, the good guys would have prevailed.

In the end it was a suitable result. The rest of the night was a cracker with a cast of thousands at the Chiefs 40th and serious hangovers everywhere, particularly on the 0900 flight to Hobart (note the view from the end of my street when I got back).

doc

PS I need a little help to format these pics and text ferg.

Hope Island conquered

The Chief proved that age is no barrier with a blitzing putting display at Hope Island today.

It was a great pleasure to join the Chief, Craw and Doc for a wonderful round at a mighty fine course. This is what greens at IGC can be like!?!

Craw took the money with a robust 74, or 76, or perhaps it was closer to 80, no one really knows how many gimmes crept onto the card...

Here are some pics from this most enjoyable of days. Thanks a million for organising it, Chief. Superb!
Lord

Craw blasting off the 10th.









Doc took a few blows out there, but still has one of the finest finishes in the game...









Birthday Boy with some work to do on the knees. Whatever the look, he can't complain - barely missed a fairway all day.









A screamer on the 11th, despite the propensity to be leaning back...

Japanese 'entertainment'

A mate in Japan sent this to me. It is completely stupid but very very funny. Have a great weekend. I am looking forward to an afternoon tonk tomorrow with Chief, John and Craw. Lions by 19.
Lord.

What is it about the Shark?

As you probably know, the Shark is in the counrty. Saw a pic of him hitting off the back of a boat in Sydney harbour. Didnt see Schnapper in the background giving a few tips, but am sure he schmozed his way on to the cruiser.

The media report that Shark is 'the drawcard' for this year's Australian Open at Royal Sydney. Got me thinking. How can someone who hasnt won a tournament since petrol was 60c a litre (1997) be the drawcard? He cant win? In fact, fair chance he wont make the cut. Is this a just a 'Shark' thing? What other sport would provide space for someone like this? Rather odd.

Most of you have probably heard by now that Lisa and I and the kids are moving to Adelaide, probably in July. Our house went on the market today. I will miss youse all heaps! But, dont worry, I will be in BrisVegas for key events, inc the Gabba test v Poms. Anyone know when the PDC are on? I hope the move to SA will provide all of you with the inspiration to visit, drink some fine booze and have tonk at some great golf course - Links Lady Bay is a cracker.

Cheers for now
Lord

PS. I will shortly send out emails inviting you to be authors for the blog. Enjoy at your leisure.

Doc's PDC pics

Some vintage footage from Doc from the 2004 tourney. Well done digger.
Early morning starters on the East course.








PJ in a standard post-match pose.
Any of you f*ckers joining me for another carton?
No Pete, got to go.
Pussies...









Bellringer off the 6th Green. Doc has some terrific video (no, not of his Davis Cup shenanigans, unfortunately...) from the 6th of Chief tugging it way left, and Bellringer following him (perhaps?). However I cant seem to load the files to the blog. Stay tuned for developments.



Cheers from Lord
posted on behalf of Doc
Happy Anzac Day

Ballet Bunion

The Old Course at Ballybunion has a reputation as one of the finest golf courses in the world - par 71 and measures 6,598 Yards.

Tom Watson and Chief reckon it’s "a true test of golf" and Watson rates the 11th as one of the toughest holes in the world (see Scnapp pic – no concerns about a raping hook on this one).

The good Doc and I decided to take on the monster in December of 1998 and we chewed it up and spat it out. “Totally over-rated” we decided as we walked off both deep in the red…


…well not quite. The hooks were aplenty and a few actions shots attached disguise our inability to deal with the elements. Doc can be seen looking for his ball on 11 which ended up near the cliffs of Mohr. I had to tell him that I didn’t think the pro-shop would have a ball retriever long enough to rescue his pill.

He took it out on the young ladies in bedroom 8. Time has altered the photo unfortunately. Doc assures me there were ladies present in the original.

Later on during my time in the UK (note that Republic of Ireland is not in UK), I met another Doctor in the little town of Gloucester. He was an amazing pool player although he seemed to grapple with the eternal question relating to the pink and the brown.

Here is a photo of him shortly after he found out that the girl he is chatting up in the background is officially half his age. Yes, 15.

Adios
Schnapp
(posted by Lord while blog teething issues resolved)

Masters 97

Of the 654 photos taken from our 1997 sojourn to the Masters, here are a selection.

Barnsey and I in front of the 12th. We agreed we couldnt understand what all the fuss was about - the hole is so short you can almost throw it on! We came back after dark and hit half 8-irons in by moonlight. Easy.

While I set off the smoke alarm in the gift shop Muz and Barnsey basically pinched anything they could get their hands on. We then posed for photos like some Abu Graibh prison warders with the loot.

I returned to play the great tourney a few years ago. Here my caddy and some chump are checking the distance to 15 after a 321 yard drive. I am not in the photo because I am the photographer, obviously.

Easter reflections

It strikes me that a blog restricted to PDC musings could be a tad limiting. After all, the PDC is only a short (but, glorious) two-week event. What to discuss for the remainder of the year? There is only one real answer - sport.

Let's face it, sport dominates golf course conversations. Sure, it is boring, often predictable, but its safe, its friendly and comfortable, like a warm and worn jumper.

Karl Marx described religion as the opium of the masses, I think to suggest it is used by oppressors to make people feel better about the distress they experience due to being poor and exploited. A bit like Rupert Murdoch and the Fox empire perhaps? Keep 'em stupid and unaware, lest they ask too many pesky questions, like, "What the hell are we doing in Iraq". Forget that dumbass, who are the Lions playing this weekend?

So in the spirit of keeping us dumbed down, I propose to broaden the scope of this blog to include general sporting things. Photos are good. Please scan and post to the blog, or send by email any sporting pic of interest. Doc hooking his driver into the sea at Ballybunion, Shirls in the toot with Shark at the R&A, a football match, a day in the sun at the cricket, anything which has or would be discussed on the golf course.

Why blog it? 1. Its online and archived - these are nice things to reflect on and have a look at for years to come. It also saves that tiresome question 'Who has the photo of ..." 2. No email blocks sending these around, esp through government firewalls. 3. its simple.

Lord

Some history

The PDC is , of course, a nett event. While most golfers plod through the 2-week IGC Club Championships dreaming of that miracle round in order have a chance of playing some 15 year old spotty herbert who hits it 290m in the quarter-finals, the PDC provides a genuine chance to any reasonable golfer who can string 2 rounds near their handicap. And no wasting valuable weekends in mindless Sunday morning play-offs. Just get it over and done with, except of course if a play-off is required.

Previous results:

PDC 2005 (23 and 30 July 2005)
John Mc 69 + 74 = 143
Craw 76 + 72 = 148
Chief 74 + 75 = 149
Barnsey 73 + 79 = 152
Golly 80 + 81 = 161

PDC 2004 (24 and 31 July 2004)
Chief 72 + 75 = 147
Lord 78 + 69 = 147
Bellringer 73 + 77 = 150
John Mc 79 + 75 = 154
Craw 77+ 78 = 155
Golly 79 + 76 = 155
PJ 82 + 75 = 157
Barnsey 77+ 81 = 158
Doctor 78 + 81 = 159

After much debate about the merits or otherwise of a playoff PJ declared for future PDC: Thou shalt not change handicaps in the middle of a tournament!' So it is written so shall it be. Chief won a single stableford playoff on 20 November 2004 with 35 pts v 32 pts on the Presidents Course.

PDC 2003 (2 and 9 August 2003)
Bellrigner 76 + 72 = 148
Chief 75 + 82 = 157
Craw 89 + 70 = 159
Lord 82 + 77 = 159
PJ 86 + 79 = 165
Barnsey 84 + 86 = 170

PDC 2002 (3 and 10 August 2002)
Lord 69 + 73 = 142
Steve C 71 + 74 = 145
Barnsey 70 + 75 = 145
Craw 74 + 73 = 147
Bellringer 76 + 73 = 149
PJ 79 + 82 = 161
Shirls DNP + 81
Golly Retired hurt (sook) + 86
John McG 76 + DNP

PDC 2001
Golly 76 + 71 = 147
Doc 74 + 74 = 148
Chief 80 + 73 = 153
Lord 81 + 74 = 155
John McG 75 + 81 = 156
Craw 74 + 89 = 163

PDC 2000 (17 and 24 June 2000)
Chief 78 + 75 = 153
Lord 78 + 78 = 156
John McG 79 + 77 = 156
Barnsey 77 + 81 = 158
Craw 81 + 77 = 158
Golly 80 + 78 = 158
Bellringer 76 + 84 = 160
Shirls 94 + DNP

Welcome to sporting mediocrity

Welcome to the Indooroopilly Golf Club Perpetual Disappointment Championships (PDC) blog. The PDC commenced in 2000 and has become renowned as a true display of sporting mediocrity. Bad shots, poor and unsporting behaviour, sub-par dress standards and foul language are all mandatory. And yet through it all there have been some shining and brilliant rays of golfing prowess. But, lets not get carried away, it is the stories of birdies turning into bogeys, doubles, triples and unmentionables which the PDC is famous for.

Let us continue to rejoice in this most amateur of contests until we are all very old men.

I welcome your contribution to this blog.

Lord